I miss my grandma

I miss my grandma.


She passed away on a very special date. She left really quick. No warning, no signs, no nothing. She just left. She is the first person to leave such an impact.

Sunday 10-10-10. We were wondering who would be doing something special on such a date. A series of weddings had occurred in previous years on a day that was the same as the month number, year, hour and minute. I was with mom at work for the weekend and as we were on our way down and close to home, I got a phone call from home. I didn’t respond because we were a minute away.
We got home and while unloading our stuff from the car, someone passed by us and told us that people are saying she is dead. We didn’t believe until we got home, found no one there, called grandma’s home and heard the wailing.

I will skip the part where it went really sad and depressing. It was a shock, and no one would like to relive sad moments.

Grandma passed away only minutes after talking to her daughter in the USA. She hung up, put the phone to rest to her left on the sofa, bent her head backwards to the wall and closed her eyes for the last time. None of us believed that. It was a very rough week until the funeral and the burial services on Thursday. I was blank the whole time. I went to work, but still I was grumpy and sad, and I am the type of person who doesn’t express his feeling and rather keep them to himself or find another way of expression. But I cried. It was a reliever.


It was the only time since over 25 years that the family had gathered. Yet, the center was missing. (photo taken the day after the funeral)

I will not talk anymore about that sad incident. Emotions and sadness are personal but I find writing a better way for me to express than speaking.

Grandma was a strong woman. She raised 9 children (my father is one of them) after her husband died a few months before her last child was born. She run a butcher shop and made sure her children went to school. Let’s not count the hard times she underwent after 1948 when people fled their homes at Palestine and came to Lebanon to live in tents and in horrible situations. Grandma used to live with us, up until I was ten. Later on, she was living close by and we used to visit her regularly and sometimes sleep over. I miss how she used to always ask me what do I want to eat. All grandmas do.


The last new year’s eve to spend with teta


I miss you grandma.
I just wish I could hear you one more time saying “I LOVE YOU”



I played this song a lot at that hard time.

I remember grandma singing this to me, and mom too after she learnt it from her.


9 thoughts on “I miss my grandma

  1. My grandpa just passed away, two days ago, one year after his son suddenly died.
    I don’t know why this post came to my mind, maybe because he was a strong man, or because I came to work today with a strange feeling or maybe because I cried… I miss him already and it hurts too much when I think that the coming days will be without him…

    • Oh my. I’m very sorry to hear that. May he rest in peace. I have to tell you one thing: LET IT ALL OUT. Whatever your way of expressing yourself is, just let it out. Crying is one way, and it really is helpful.

      If I could do anything to help, don’t hesitate to ask.

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